A job interview is not always a job interview

I’m watching the funniest thing right now. My work is running a job search. It’s a good thing that they are hiring. It’ll assuage my fears that they are going out of business. But this is one of the funniest job interviews I’ve ever witnessed in my life! The first candidate has been here for 15 minutes already and they are only getting to his work related attributes now. The first questions were from the accountant here at ADECI and it was almost like a proof of identity quiz. The accountant was holding the applicants CV and asking him questions like “what’s your full name?” “Luis Ernesto Diego da Conceição” “What are the names of your family?”, was question two, I want to know what that has to do with anything. Maybe it’s some sort of background check. The questions are continuing. “You drink beer since how long?” “I don’t drink.” “Why not, we all like to drink here?” “Why did you give it up” “What church are you?” “When did you start praying there?” “When did you stop smoking?” “So you don’t smoke, you don’t drink, are you sure you are a man?” “Do you have the sickness of following skirts?” “You don’t?!?!?! You must be dead!” Seriously man, these are some of the questions that are coming up. I can’t wait until the next candidate comes in. I’m wondering though if all these random questions are some sort of background check. I mean, everyone knows everyone here and they don’t want any old random person working for us. I think they want to make sure a fellow from the ‘wrong side of the tracks’ would apply. Oh my, now they are pounding into this guy. They told him even before he left that he didn’t get the job. I think they are telling him that just to see his reaction. 
The second guy is older and it’s hysterical. The first question out was if he knew where he was applying to. He didn’t know the name of the institution. Both guys were asked how much they wanted to receive per month. They are both applying for a guard job. Minimum wage is 1,678 MT a month or about $67. But it might be more money since I work for a bigger company I mean hell, I make 5,050 MT a month. That’s Peace Corps paying me though and not ADECI. Holy God, they were just talking about the war time. Apparently this guy was in the armed forces and fought against the rebels in Sofala and Manica provinces. The accountant is from up there and lost some family during the war… so he accused the applicant of killing his family! He said all this without a hint of irony. I don’t get the humor. There is a fear that they feel needs to be instilled in their subordinents that I don’t get. They almost had the poor guy in tears here saying he was in FRELIMO and not with the rebels.
Another interesting question is whether these guys know the difference between a state run business and a private business. I don’t know the importance of this question, but I can guess. Most things are part state owned here. Most companies have a shareholder system (score one for capitalism) but the biggest shareholder is someone who is with FRELIMO or FRELIMO itself (score one for communism.) The president of the company that I work for right now is Graça Machel who is currently the wife of Nelson Mandela, but was the Minister of Education here in Mozambique for YEARS and a champion of FRELIMO. This second guy just admitted he is HIV positive! He responded that he’s stopped smoking and drinking since he did the “teste da minha saúde.” The third guy is acting like an idiot. He is taking the thing to count to 3 before you answer to the nth degree. He hasn’t said anything for a what seems like a couple minutes. He’s not going to get the job and my colleagues are making fun of this lisp he has. However, he is acting like a student in my classes in Homoine. Instead of saying he doesn’t know the answer, he’ll stay silent. WHY?

Just thought you guys would enjoy hearing about run of the mill things. There were 3 applicants, lets see who gets it. I’ll keep you updated!

April 1 Dia Da Mentira

Today is a weird day. It's not a holiday and yet it is celebrated with a lot of gusto. None of us get the day off of work but that leads and lends itself to more practical jokes. It's celebrated the world over yet has slightly different "rules" in different countries. And it's a day I enjoy! But, something a friend and I were talking about yesterday, what kind of response do we really expect from people when we play a practical joke on them? "Oh thank you, you proved that I am in fact a gullible person and have insulted my intelligence!" Not likely... it would be more along the line of "YOU BASTARD"
"LIAR"
"F*&*&*"
Like I got today.

As I walked into the office, the games already started. The secretary asked whether or not I had heard that Robert Mugabe had been assassinated. I of course was very happy to hear he was out of the way, turned the internet on and found it wasn't true. He may get voted out, but that is a whole other blog. I took that joke and did it on a few other people. 2 believed me and ever spread it further. However, I think my crowning achievement was the trick i played on my brother. You see, he's coming to visit here in about a month and I've very excited. I emailed him saying I had gotten kicked out of Peace Corps and was on my way home, I was very sorry and I didn't know what to say. Needless to say, he was mad. His girlfriend was mad too. Thank God I was on the internet so he could talk to me about it before Sam called the airline! But the question is why are people so gullible? I've gotten Noel 3 years in a row now.

tchau