Public Service Announcement

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes California,
Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the
Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the
slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get
Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom...or what's left of it.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and
entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the
red states finally pay their fair share.

Since the Blue State aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent
lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that we will be pro-choice and anti- war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths
for no real purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success
in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to
spend our resources on Bush's Quagmire any longer.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90
percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh
fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve beer
at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven
Sister schools, plus Berkeley, Stanford, Cal Tech, Chicago,
Madison, Michigan, and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to
cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected
health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100
percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of
all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the
University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38
percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually
swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're
discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11
and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with
higher morals then we lefties.

Peace out,

Blue States

LIFE IS A JOURNEY.
ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW AND ENJOY THE BREEZE

This is something I got emailed! I LOVE the emails turning to "we lefties" 's favor now. But the thing I loved the best was the cheesy quote at the end. It couldn't be more true. Enjoy the breeze and no one has any right to take the breeze away from ANYBODY ELSE!

I Like Republicans or...

Okay, before all of you attack me for that blasphemy let me explain myself. A wise man (my uncle) once told me that I should read up on my enemy (the republicans) before I attack them. So I have been and LET ME TELL YOU! This could not be a better time to want to read about the Republicans. Sarah Palin and John McCain have just provided so much entertainment. Some of the quotes will go down in history. I think "I can see Russia from my house!" is my favorite. I wonder if the word LIPSTICK will ever be heard the same way again. I envision future generations of budding politicians just shouting LIPSTICK at each other, it having become an insult thanks to a hick from Alaska.

But I can't really make more than inflammatory comments about what's going on over there. Trust me though it makes for very interesting dinner convos at Campismo restaurant here amongst us Americans. The Republicans have afforded me with such wonderful practice and I am truly grateful. My republican friends here (yes I do have republican friends) afford me the practice to become more elequant in my speech as I show them the error of their ways. Someone who has 5 children under 20, believes she can see Russia from the middle of Alaska, and belongs to a church where it's believed homosexuality can be cured in 21 days really shouldn't be running the senate - is something I tell my friend Scott on regular occaisons. At least he finally believes that sexuality is not a choice! We're working on him.

What I'm even more appreciativve of though is the ability I've developed and the opportunities I've had to look at things from a different angle. Life is not about iced chai lattes from Starbucks, the newest bag from LV, or who has the best golfing average. Don't get me wrong, those things are nice - don't think I really care for any of them though. I don't like Starbucks, am not partial to handbags (even though I do have a lot of shoulder bags here for work) and have never golfed in my life. But going back. None of my friends here in Maxixe have probably experienced any of my 3 examples yet they live happy lives. I was talking to an American in California per google chat today and this person was explaining what happened this week with some what appeared to be unshakable American financial institutions who fell FLAT on their faces. A friend of his' Dad lost 6 million dollars in investments. See for me now, that money is just a figure. I see on a daily basis what such a difference $5 can make to buy a new mosquito net for someone sleeping in a reed shack. I hear people grumbling about gas just going up to 45 meticais a liter. About a pound a liter or $7 a gallon. Mozambique was the UN's most destitute country in the world from 75 to 95. The majority of cars here are rusted tin cans with wheels and trust me, do not get very good gas mileage. But Mozambicans aren't stopping to drive, A vida continua is the daily mantra.

We, as westerners, need to learn that. Personally I see good eventually coming out of this. But just think how much respect will be garnered for America and the West if we pull ourselves out of a mess that the world has never seen before. It was done in Germany. So let's all calm down, sort things out again, let Sarah Palin enjoy the view of Russia and realize that we are connected and need to work together. I know Africa would appreciate it and love to be able to eat 3 times a day again.

Palin's experience

Just got this off the BBC

* Has she travelled outside the United States at all - other than an official trip to the Middle East last year?

* Does she have any appreciation of foreign or national security policy? Or any personal vision of the uses of American power?

* Did she improperly use her position as governor of Alaska to force the sacking of a senior state official for personal reasons? An investigation is under way in the Alaska legislature, and Governor Palin has retained a lawyer

* Was she a member of the Alaska Independence Party - a fringe group advocating secession from the United States - in the 1990s? The AIP says yes; her campaign says no

* Was she a supporter of the conservative Pat Buchanan, the one-time presidential candidate whose political star declined, especially among Jewish voters, after he was accused of anti-Semitism?

* What is her attitude to "pork" - the practice of lobbying for federal dollars from Washington to fund local projects and keep local supporters happy? She says she fought pork aggressively. Newspaper reports suggest she was adept at securing federal money when she was mayor of the town of Wasilla

* Does she really support the idea of teaching creationism - the belief that God created the world in six days, as stated in the Bible - in schools?

* What is her view of the causes of climate change?

* Did she oppose sex education in schools? Some commentators have noted a possible irony if she did, given her own pregnant teenage daughter.


WONDERFUL!!!!

Real Americans?

I believe in Karma and I'm a firm believer that it bites you in the ass if you are not careful. I've gotten bitten too many times here in Moz so I don't want to do anything more. But I've been reading up on this Sarah Palin and man is she an interesting one. She accuses the Democrats of talking too idealistic and not working for the "real american." We all know how well the GOP does that now don't we? What I want to know is if thinking everybody should have access to health care, a decent education and oh wait "life liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is too idealistic what plans do they have for us? I may just stay here otherwise....