Trying to find the wow moments

started this blog over six years ago. I believe it was in March 2005, as I was winding up my life in the UK. Less than six months later I was going to Africa. When I started typing here, I didn't know where I was going. I just knew I was going. I was 22 and very naive (I see NOW!) but I was on the ride of my life. I started this blog as a way to mentally process where I was going and as a handy way to keep in contact with people "back home" whether in Germany, the UK or the USA. Sadly, I've been back over 2 years and have been pathetic at keeping this blog up and running. I admit, I got nervous at how scary the instant connectedness of the first world can infiltrate your life. But now as I've been thinking about what the Internet does I can make comparisons with Africa in a heart beat. There's this phenomenon in Africa called the Bush Telegraph. I distinctly remember hearing from people in VILLAGES in the interior that I was doing such and such on such and such night. I realized quickly that people were watching me where ever I went. It's similar with the Internet. Think about it. How many times in your life have you heard the "Oh yeah I saw that on Facebook..." or some variant thereof. It's just a bush telegraph with optical fibers instead of coconut fibers and fofoqueira.

Now on to the title, I've been called an adrenalin junkie before in my life. I tend to take that as a compliment. Nothing excites me more than to try and figure out life in some far flung corner of the world. Doing it in Pittsburgh has not had that rush. Unless I'm trying to understand Yinzer speak or this language they speak up in the mountains of West Virginia. But, I've been trying recently to find the "wow" moments of everyday. The past couple of days have been just that.

Starting a few days ago I had a two hour session at work where 2 of my students left early, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise. So I sat down with the other woman who stayed for a little bit. She turns out to sit on the board of a charity in Zimbabwe. It is run (partly) by this ethnically Swedish woman who is from Finland. So this book is written in Swedish and I found with my German background I can work out some of the roots of words for the meanings and now I'm helping her translate it. After we got talking, she said there is an RPCV from Zim who also lives in my neighborhood here in Pittsburgh. She served under the same Country Director in Zim that I served under in Moz. That just made me yelp with excitement. The best is yet to come though. She said they send some Americans over to Zimbabwe every July and August to teach and work about 100 miles outside of Harare. It would be all expense paid. I need to do an internship for grad school and my internship seems to have fallen into my lap!!

SO, I'm translating a book, have a trip back to Africa on the horizon and saw someone randomly in Pittsburgh who I went to high school with. Oh yeah Freshlyground is coming to America as well.

The Universe is Smiling.

Ian

Preperation

I've spent a lifetime going through preparation for major life experiences. I think it may have come from a certain major life experience that I had no preparation for that changed my life. It happened on 10.5.1990 so I guess I didn't want to be caught unaware anymore. The list is quite staggering and someone actually pointed out at work the other day, "You know, for being 28, you've accomplished quiet a lot." There were a few more expletives than that, but you get the idea.

His comment actually made me go home a sit down to see what I have done. It started small but has been growing ever since. I prepared for various shows (which at that time I THOUGHT were life changing experiences) before I was 16. But at 13 I experiences London for the first time. Let me tell you I am STILL hooked. Went there last year and just loved it. Like always. Then came Germany (life changing) and hopefully A will gain as much of an appreciation for the country and the language as I have. Then came Friend's World (need I say more) but the "crowning" achievement would have to be Peace Corps. Africa is always going to be in my heart. It is what is pushing me for the Foreign Service Test.

Now off to salt the driveway! 6 inches of snow on the way!

More soon

Let it snow let it snow let it snow?

Growing up I thought Pittsburgh was always the back of beyond. I remember a certain 7th grade science teacher telling me that it was never advisable to fly into Pittsburgh in the winter. 3 different weather streams pass over the city. That just seems like a perfect storm to a 12 year old. Well, I've lived here since April of 2010 and have been HIGHLY disappointed by the snow we've seen so far. Today, we were supposed to get SNOWPOCALYPSE. It didn't happen. Not after the 76 inches we got last year in Philadelphia. But I will say, Pittsburgh is so much better at cleaning the streets than Philadelphia, or New York for that matter. It's been snowing maybe 6 hours and the street I am on has been plowed twice. Pittsburghers also know how to drive better in the snow. I'll never forget the winter I was in London and it snowed three inches. The city was shut down. :) I think they are getting better about it now. Are they Liz?

Last thing I want to talk about tonight is Global Warming. It was sooooooooo slow at work today we spent most of it on our computers. We were looking at the impending doom rolling across the country. She made a side comment "Well, I guess that means no more global warming,.." The stupidity of this country is sometimes astounding....

More soon

American "Traditions"

Ok, I've been back in America for two "Holiday Seasons" now, but I've only worked in a mall for one of them. :O) Or maybe I shouldn't be quite so cheerful. I am more than grateful for my two days off right now because the last day I was at the store, PEOPLE WERE CRAZY!!!

I am thinking about this because I walk around the mall on various breaks that I have in the day. It's amusing and upsetting the different kinds of people that you see in a mall. Whenever I start my day, I am sure to see some mall walkers. I just did a little search and was SHOCKED to see that there are mall walking clubs. Why I'm surprised I don't know. Everything seems possible in this country. That's a wonderful thing... I think. The mall walkers inevitably scare the crap out of me because when you get to work at 7:30 in the morning, there are not many other people around and it seems like geriatric McGee is walking at light speed around corners. I don't understand the appeal.

Another thing I don't like very much about my home culture is the absurdity of Black Friday. Scroll down on the link and look at some of the violent acts that have taken place just this year in 2010. How is some "macabre" tradition so important in this land? It's another product of Philadelphia. Some would say that's enough of a description (Adam) but I want to know where, in the years did someone say you have to be evil to everybody else. I always laugh when people come into my shop and say "I don't have much time, tell me in 1 sentence what is so great about a .........(fill in the blank.) As many of you know, I don't exactly work in a store where you walk in a walk out. My average interaction on the sales floor is about 45 minutes and I don't mind.

But, in the true tradition of American holidays, I don't have enough time to finish this...

Cherish what you have.

I've been trying to teach myself and live by the mantra of "cherish what you have" for years. First time I can really remember thinking this is when my uncle Tony got sick in 2000. 14 years of battling various diseases. Since I was only 18 in 2000, I realized that I would have been four if he didn't fight as hard as he did. I wish I cherished having him more than I showed. If my mom didn't fight as hard as she did, I probably would have been 3 when she died.

In the interim I have traveled to all inhabitable continents (in the British 5 continents terminology) to 28 countries and met a whole load of friends. What I want to know now is why I am focusing on certain people who I have lost in my life. (Friendship wise I mean) There is one in particular who I am mourning but I have to move on. This person was influential in some of my time abroad. Many times, we would just meet up at a Pub and chat. Last time I went to this person's country, I chatted on the phone and had a good time talking to her/him. Now, I wrote to them write before I left for California. This person also worked for my company at one point so I wanted to share. But, no response to the email and I went on to Facebook and saw that I have been "defriended." I also was defriended by someone who I actively divorced as a friend - or passively. I don't know.

What I'm wondering is why do I care about these people who obviously don't care about me. I need to cherish what I have.

this is something I was finishing up the last week I was in California. Didn't know why I didn't send it. Now I'll try to update more and more as the winter months shut us in here in Pittsburgh

Just plain sad

I had a horrible experience this morning with someone who I thought was intelligent and kind of cool. Needless to say, the moral of this blog (I know you normally don't hit the moral first but hey bear with me) is that even though we have come so far with rights and acceptance, we still have so far to go. I was waiting this morning in front of the hotel and we were just talking. Somehow, we got from talking about food to him making fun of a gay man who works at the hotel. I just stood there stupidly looking at him thinking, HE KNOWS who I am, he's got the same name as my husband and I remember telling him that. Well, he was talking to me about how this one guy who works there (typical SF area flaming gay man). Almost right away, the wrist starting flapping and the lisp got turned on. We were standing in a group of three - me, him and an Italian man, so no one he had to really be macho and show off in front of. But man, he just kept going! He went on to say that he takes the cookies this gay man makes every day for us and runs. He told me that he doesn't hang around because E (the gay) is winking at him all the time. I will say this guy had a nice look about him but the attitude he has just turned him into one of the ugliest people I've seen. And yet he kept going. He mentioned to the Italian that he was just too nice. The Italian hangs around the lobby for a bit talking to everybody who is there. He later told me he doesn't understand the Americans issues with gays. TO the American, I made sure to show my complete disgust on my face and made it as awkward as possible to be around me for him. I said to him, I'm sure you are just not that man's type. He looked at me and suddenly got beet red. It came to him who he was talking to. Score one for me.

I just have been thinking about this alot this morning. I don't know why we as a society sit around and accept making fun of gay people as something that is funny. If someone did that to say Hispanics, or say Blacks not many people would be laughing. Racism would be accused and the offender would be socially shunned. Now, on my side, people just laugh and nothing is thought about it. Hopefully though, this one guy will think twice before he makes fun of that again.

Probably not though.

PCV

Those three little letters can mean so many things. Many times as I said them over the years, I would mix up the last two items. I would naturally start calling them PVC's and now that I think of it, it could be fitting that we are compared to toilet plumbing. But I digress. I'm writing this today because I've had one of the best weekends out here with three lovely ladies who I worked with in Africa. They all live in the Bay Area and are just fabulous people. It was like we saw each other yesterday when in reality I hadn't seen them in 2 years almost. I love that about people who you meet overseas and have an amazing experience with. It is something I am thinking alot about as my brother transitions back from 14 months in the UK. It's the longest he has lived overseas and I am nervous for his re-entry into the US of A. It's not that I don't trust or believe in my brothers abilities, it's that I know how hard it is and this is where culture shock comes from. When someone goes overseas, you are expecting "weirdness." When you come home to your "home" country, you are not necessarily expecting the weirdness of it all. That's when the big Shock sneaks up behind you and hits you over the head. "Oh YEAH! YOU THINK ENGLAND AND AMERICA ARE THE SAME!! :::::bam::::" Good luck.

Now to bring myself back to the title of this post, PCVs are a strange breed. You willingly sign up to go live in a hut in a third world country for 2 years - electricity and running water optional. Sanity is lost along the way too. Shouldn't that be the first sign of telling us we've lost our minds? But no, we truck on...most people finishing two years, some people finishing three years of service. Last weekend, I noticed how that will ALWAYS be a huge part of me. There were three of us out at the bar in the Castro and it was as if we never left. And naturally the conversation topics were the same.

The power of Positivity

It's hard but I am trying so hard to do it. A said I was the eternal optimist when we got married. He's really been the person who has pointed it out to me. I didn't really notice too much before. I know see it almost on a daily basis. Two recent examples.

My bags got lost (very lost) on the way out to California. It didn't help that my original flight was outright canceled from Pittsburgh out here. I was in smelly smelly clothes by the end of the day on Monday and thought I would have to spend a record 3 days in the same set of clothes. Surprisingly, I have only lost my bags 2 times. Both had Pittsburgh International Airport involved. Is this the Universe telling me I should get the hell out of dodge while I still can? If the Republicans start repealing my very limited civil rights... God Save the Queen? :) Anyway, I had to keep reminding myself that I was in freaking California! I haven't been out here in 10 years and just kept smiling like a delusional idiot.

My other instance is when my feet starting hurting in San Francisco. This time it wasn't hard, I just had to look out over the bay. I mean I WAS IN SAN FRANCISCO!

I challenge anyone who still reads this to focus on the positive. Anyone who reads this obviously has electricity, running water and a soft bed to lie in. After that is there really anything we should complain about?

More soon

PS. I feel I REALLY have to comment on last nights Glee episode but I'm not sure my stream of consciousness writing would do it justice.

Old age?

I just turned 28.  I don't think that is anything big - most of my friends are older than me now and my age bracket does include 35 on most American forms.  However, I've noticed my age in the time I've been out here in California.  Take tonight for example.  A bunch of people are going to go out to dinner tonight at a Korean BBQ restaurant.  (That is still one thing I cannot get over, the sheer amount of choice in America)  A new episode of Glee is also on.  I'm torn about where I want to go.  I'm laughing though because when I was 20 and 21, living in the UK and Guatemala respectively, I went out EVERY NIGHT.  I think I took Sundays and Mondays off just out of sheer exhaustion.  When you are that young and can't drink at home, living in a country where you are an old fart on the drinking scene definitely helps.  Anyway, I was dead set on going out tonight, but I think I'll stay in.  It seems just as appealing to stay at home and enjoy the TV - maybe even more so.  Any thoughts on how we are getting "so old?"

PS.  It just blows my mind that I moved to Africa when I was 22 and moved back when I was 26.  3 years in Africa is 30 year over here?

Daily Examen part 2

Yesterday morning I decided to go to a Unitarian Universalist church here in San Jose. I've been going to them since about February 2009. It was one of the best jumps I've ever taken. Yesterday confirmed the fact. The church is a wonderfully old building that incorporates so many aspects of UU culture and history. It is called The First Church of San Jose. I feel like I've never seen a church that has incorporated so many different religions into one building. There were definite influences from the Roman pantheon, a Greek agia, Russian churches and Shinto Shrines. The stole the minister wore had the symbols of all the religions I definitely know. Of course there were some there that didn't jump out at me right away. I'll have to have a look into religious symbols. The most beautiful part of the church though was the altar. It was backed by the perfumed flowers of the Mexican Day of the Dead. All of this was draped over a Shinto Shrine which was topped by and Islamic crescent moon and a Hindu Om. It honestly was one of the most beautiful things I'd seen in my short experience with the UU's.

The topic of the sermon was a daily examen. It was founded by St. Ignatius many year ago. It's basic premiss is that you have to look at your life at the end of every day. While you do that, you have to identify a time when you felt life just coming out of you, "Working with the Universe" as the UUs would say. The other time you have to reflect upon is when you felt life just getting drained out from you. Then you have to look forward to the next day.

So, the first time I do this I'm going to focus on riding a Cable Car in San Francisco listening to Judy Garland sing San Francisco. My bad time is when I heard from the airline companies and had to go to SJ international airport twice just to get my bag.

Any thoughts?

My Daily Examen

I've been out here in California for awhile and I think the past 24 hours have been the most exciting times I've had out here. Friday after work I drove up and met some old friends from the Peace Corps in Oakland. One thing I love about those friends is that we immediately had to cut through all of the friendship pleasantries in the Peace Corps. We were our support network. We were who we all relied upon. That made for some quick solid friendships and quick solid enemies. But that is a post for another day.

However, the reminiscing with old friends from 5 years ago and from 15 years ago was amazing. After wonderful dinners and wonderful laughs, I headed out to do my favorite thing ever - Stadtbummeln. There is even a Facebook page dedicated to it. Though sadly it is not too extensive. I've been trying to practice contentment in my life throughout the past through years. After Peace Corps, I just can't genuinely feel there is any way I could be discontented or upset about my lot in life. My rambling through the city of San Francisco only solidified that for me. I didn't have an aim. I didn't have a map yet I survived and had one of the most clichéd gay experiences of my life. This is your cue to cringe Liz. All I'll say is it involves a Cable Car and Judy... :)

I ended up walking from Market Street to Coit Tower (not very far but almost COMPLETELY uphill) stopping at various stores along the way. One of them was THE famous book store of San Francisco and it's beat generations. I had to call my friend for the name because her father told me years ago I HAD to go. Now I got to the top of Coit Tower and had some wonderful views but knew my feet couldn't take anymore of the hills. Down is pretty easy though. I got down to the bottom of the hill and saw Lombard Street. I didn't climb to the top though. I knew from just my proximity to water that I was too far to walk to the BART to get back to my car. So I did as you naturally do in SF and I hoped on a Cable Car. Just as I did, some weird cosmic force affected my iPod and Judy Garland's version of San Francisco came on shuffle. I laughed and grinned ear to ear as I was hanging on a cable car on my way home.

More soon.

DOMA

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DOMA

There has not been this much hate written into a short little law since the Jim Crow laws.  Truthfully though, not much thought was given to it until last month.  Many things are happening now that are getting me so incensed I some times just break down in desperation.  We went to Canada after our wedding and it was so wonderful to know that right over the border is such a progressive nation.  Canada treats A as my husband and not my domestic partner as his employer now says.  Even though we were told it would be recognized they have since cited DOMA as an excuse for not recognizing us as married men.  I can't believe that if my name were Amy, nothing like this would be happening.  Even though I am the enternal optimist I am getting mad.  I will at least have health care starting Jan 1st - as his domestic partner.  Does anyone else see the absurdity of this?  The CO is accepting our marriage license as proof of a domestic partnership.   I hope the people that are keeping me out of this are on their fourth or fifth wives.   All I can think though is ALL IN DUE TIME.  Overseas friends, should we start a Enemies of DOMA overseas chapter?  Let's donate as much money to that as people did to that freaky witch from Delaware

On a happier note, I have officially told EVERY  person in my life about A and I.  I was a little shocked from the most recent revelation.  I spent September to May 2002-03 in Costa Rica and Guatemala and I'm still in contact with my Costa Rican host family.  Some of that host family have come onto Facebook.  I contacted my tia loca there because of a mudslide in the family's hometown.  My host mother responded with such enthusiasm and love I got teary eyed.  Gotta get to Costa Rica soon.

Some thoughts on America

I've been silent for awhile I know.  But I have been going through alot recently.  As many of you know, I'm getting married this week.  Friday will be the day I join up with a guy I've been dating for the past year.  It's a time of mixed emotion.  While I am OVER THE MOON there are people I wish could be there.  Mom, Mag and Noel won't be able to be there.  While with Noel and Mag, I'll be able to check in with them in person thanks to the modern miracle of Skype.  Mom will be a different story.  I'm bringing a picture of her to take photos with and my brother sent me a note saying some nice things that really are helping me process the emotions I'm going to be dealing with.  I would have to deal with her wanting to be SO involved. :)  But the past two weeks have been very emotional.  October 3rd was my little nephew's 5th Birthday.  October 5th was twenty years of my mother's death and man it hurts just as much as the day it happened.  I am certain that I will live my life to the fullest in honor of her.  It helps thinking how delighted she would be with where I am in my life now and what has happened in the past 20 years with her children.  October 15th I will be getting married in the state of Vermont and the 16th I will be turning 28.  Wow, I'm getting teary just writing about it.  Adam did something amazing for me.  He bought a star from the International Star Registry in Switzerland.  He named it Maria Hefele.  The certificate got delivered on her anniversary.  Needless to say I lost it.  I was trying to drive to work through a veil of tears.  However, now I know for "certain" that she is always looking down on me.  Missing her though shouldn't mean I can't celebrate the addition of Adam and two yes TWO sets of in-laws.  I'll get the biological set and a step set.  

Another thing that has been on my mind since yesterday is the climate in which I am getting married.  Sadly enough, outside of Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York, Washington D.C. and Iowa our ceremony will not be valid.  However, yesterday a judge in California issued a worldwide injunction to stop using Don't Ask Don't Tell.  The government has 60 days to file an injunction.  I don't think it will happen but I am hopeful.  I am also hopeful that this will bring someone's attention that DOMA (the hurtful Defense of Marriage Act) is just as discriminatory.  I wonder if by the time I get home from Canada or at least by my first anniversary I will be able to call myself married from sea to shining sea.

I'll talk to you after I go North.

Tonka Train T

Pittsburgh is not a city that you think would have a good public transport system. Of all the places I have been in the world, I think Europe does it the best. I might say that Berlin is the most efficient city train system in the world. But Pittsburgh does have one. It's called the T and it's run by the Port Authority. I know, think what you want. Pittsburgh is 300 plus miles from the coast and it has a PORT!!! :) Anyway, the T reminds me of my friend's kids' train set. That train set is Swedish made and probably more sturdy too. The T is actually a trolley that goes about 5 feet between stops. It was built in the 1980's and shows it. 3 of the stops are downtown, underground... therefore, we can call it a subway!!!??? But my favorite thing is that the color scheme of the T looks like a mixture of dirt, cocoa and poop. The signing for the system looks like tonka pieces and you still buy tickets.

Where is Sir Toppum Hat?

More soon.

Another reason why...

I want to join the Foreign Service... cars will be the responsibility of the Automobile Pool and you wouldn't have to go through what I just went through in the past two days. About a week ago, my car started to rattle. I had some problems earlier with a hole in the muffler and went to company M looking for a fix. They fixed it for $100 and not much fuss. I took them back because I thought it was a problem that they may have not fixed too well. They said they didn't write up that there was any problem with the muffler and therefore there was no guarantee. Grrr. I had them look at it anyway because if I have any hope of passing emissions tests this year, I think I need a working muffler. They looked at it, had me look at it (like I had ANY idea what I was looking at.) Then they handed me a bill for $514 saying I needed an entire exhaust system. I was pretty upset because the car wasn't even making as much noise as the last time round. I called A and asked for his step-dad's number because he's a mechanic. The step-dad got on the phone and asked me what's wrong, talked with the mechanic and came back to me laughing. He basically said get out of there, they are trying to price gouge you. I did.

It was only this weekend that I got up to his house about an hour away. 2 days, a myriad of problems later, I have an inspected car and a spot in the poor-house. Hopefully not for long because my new job is starting on Monday!

More soon

A curious trend

So everyone, I've finally got steady employment here in Pittsburgh. I've actually got 3 jobs but they are all part time.

Job #1

Is at the University of Pittsburgh. It's at the University's Center for Social and Urban Research. I do the telephone interviews for the Center to collect data. I make about 100 calls in a four hour shift. Need I say more? I don't think I should bad mouth them too much though because I told them about job #3 today and they were very understanding. This job is very grant based... soooooo when the money runs out, there are no more hours. Let me tell you though, I definitely get some interesting conversations with the nutters out there in suburban Pittsburgh. for example (Why the hell you calling me? It's too hot to talk!)

Job #2

This job hasn't really panned out yet. It's down town in the golden triangle, in the same building as a friend of mine. It's at a international ESL and Translation firm. I've put my name on the list to work on a contractual basis as an ESL teacher and a Translator. I've filled out all of the paperwork, but I haven't heard anything yet. Keeping my fingers crossed that this pans out a little bit. It would be very interesting work.

Job #3

Is right around the corner from my house. IT'S AT THE APPLE STORE!!!! NEED I SAY MORE? :)

PS. I also passed my FOREIGN SERVICE EXAM!!!! Now I have to write my Personal Narratives and land a job in Nauru????

More soon

Hello from Pittsburgh

3 months in hiding and I put two posts up in one day. I'm going to start getting better at this. Last time I wrote you all, I was living in Philadelphia, teaching first grade and generally just miserable all around. Now I'm writing you from leafy Mt. Lebanon in Pittsburgh. I've been looking for jobs and been quite lucky now. I'm living with A now and generally enjoying myself. I'll admit for the first month I felt very lost. My career seemed like it was stopped. I felt like I just hit a brick wall. I didn't know that many people in Pittsburgh. Felt like I was just drifting and floating. I also felt like I've been forcing myself into someone else's house. But since then lots of stuff has gone right. I'll fill in more tomorrow. Until then, LET'S GO GERMANY

PS. I'm going to the Hofbrauhaus in Pittsburgh tomorrow to watch the game. Should be fun!

Cell Phones

I did something tonight for the first time ever. I was so fed up with my cell phone from all the phone calls I got today. I just couldn't carry on a conversation with anybody... so I turned my phone off!!!! Now let's see if I can just keep myself off of this too. But that might not work so well if I get a job that I have my sights on.... more soon.

Hello My Name is Ian

and I'm an _________aholic. I was realizing the other night that I am not perfectly happy with just doing one thing with my technology. The latest thing I feel I need is an Amazon Kindl. Why? I don't know. I love nothing more than reading a good book with a cup of tea.

The other night as I was at Adam's house, I had my iPod running, the TV running and I was taking a final exam for my course. Is that what our lives have come to? We are just little 30 second bites that can't keep our concentration until ....

wait what was I saying?

Germany Germany Germany

So I was put in charge of a team for the Reading Olympics of my school. We are team Germany. I just wanted to tell you all about my favorite time I've had this Year At School.

I was leading the kids in a cheer for Team Germany. They were going Germany Germany Germany and then they asked me how to say Germany in German. Two of the girls said DEUTSCHLAND!

Suddenly, the entire auditorium was cheering Germany Germany Germany. The principal laughed saying to me "They don't really know what they are saying!" No, they didn't but an auditorium full of Latinos saying Germany Germany Germany is enough to keep me going.

Still loving it.