...uh, thanks I guess...

My housekeeper Raquia called me at work. She said she was sorry for interrupting but obviously couldn't contain her excitement. I asked her what the problem was and she just said she was excited about what she had done at my house. I asked her what she did, but she wouldn't tell me. She just said I needed to come home and find it out. So I finished the day and went home. Raquia had dug a MASSIVE new garbage pit for me. Can't tell you all that I was very excited because she put crocodiles at the bottom of it "to try and recycle." All I could really say was thank you for trying to recycle and pay her her month's wages. I was very confused when I went out and told some friends. Everyone was very excited about it except for my friend Anne. She just kept telling me "that's not how you recycle!" I believed her but didn't know what else I could do. She came over to help and all of a sudden the crocodiles started coming out of the hole and attacking us. Kuri, my dog, jumped in the way to defend me and ended up falling into the hole. I'll miss her, I thought as I ran away. You can't really outrun an African Croc though, trust me! Anne, who's always been braver than me, stepped on the croc, keeping its jaw shut while screaming at me to get something to beat it with. I woke up with my broom in my hand...

Oh I "love" lariam...