#1

Hallo van Suid Afrika

Sorry I've been missing in action but it's been an action filled 48 hours. The trip to South Africa was pretty uneventful. I just struggled to stay awake because I didn't want to miss any of the last 120 kilometers left in Mozambique. Got to the border and the sun was beating down. Of course the line was huge at the border. I felt like a refugee, but the funny thing was as I got closer to the building (deciding the future of my life) a guy took me by the arm and brought me to the front of the line. I thought maybe he "recognized" me from my Brazilian Soap Opera days, but he just wanted a fanta. He cut about 30 minutes off of my wait time, so I gave him 30 mets for his troubles. Yes, I guess I did bribe a border guard, but does it count as a bribe when he's just offering me some services! Naturally, my cell phone stopped working as I got over the border. This is such a ghetto fabulous cell phone that I'm surprised it lasted this long but thankfully I was able to bribe the other volunteer I was traveling with with dinner and some beers and now I have his cell phone. Like it would have worked in the States anyway. :) Oh PC, what you have taught me!

Got to Jozi and got scared, but during the day in a car, it doesn't look that scary. It kind of looks like a Framingham MA stuck in the 1980's. Had a couple hours before I left to the airport to pick up Jess. Andrew (the other PCV) and I went to the closest restaurant (We are in Joburg after all!!) which turned out to be a Portuguese Restaurant with Mozambican staff. The food was cheaper here than in Moz. GO FIGURE! Then off to the airport to pick up Jess who true to form showed up an hour late. I felt bad because the driver had to wait for me. But when he came to pick us up after Jess finally cleared customs, he had his pita in the car. (mistress) Epa Afrika! We got home at midnight and promptly fell asleep, thank GOD! Jess didn't sleep very well on the plane so was tired.

Day #2 started with us hitting the ground running. Jozi is the biggest city in Southern Africa and chocka history from all over the sub-continent. Me being the history nerd, I had to take advantage of where I was. We started this tour with a guy Moses and his ADORABLE son Siyande. We spent the next 12 hours with him but went to SOWETO, and the Apartheid museums. It was a little awkward for me in Soweto because it looks like how I lived in Moz, but since Jess can't get to Moz with me on this trip, I figured why the hell not. The Apartheid museum is what got me. I started crying. When you buy a ticket, you are issued with your racial classification on the ticket. I joked with Jess that she was most definitely going to get "blankie" and I would get "nie-blankie." White and non-white. Well, I was right and I just couldn't stop laughing! Even though we are siblings and obviously both white, Apartheid thought otherwise. Just got me thinking how stupid racism and that whole system was/is. Jess and I also started realizing that it still exists in America, we just never had some term to call it by name. You don't identify something, then it doesn't exist now, does it?

Later last night, we went to a Johnny Clegg concert. WOW! This man is amazing. I want all of you to investigate him and see how wonderful the music of this continent is. We were five rows back (almost in spitting distance) for R205. So cheap. The dancing was beautiful, the voices were amazing and one of the back up singers had one of the biggest bundas/bums I've ever seen in my life and man could she shake it! I'm still on a high from the sheer joy of life that I experienced last night. There were some afrikaaners in the crowd who were the first one's up dancing and seeing that even further concretes my belief that all this fighting, fear and hatred is completely pointless cause in the end, we all want to have a good time, love and be loved. I challenge someone to prove me wrong. :)

Today was a day of rest. Slept in til 9 AM! Had some leisurely breakfast and tea then went on a 12 k walk through the city. To the mall and back so we could get some beer so don't get too hasty about thinking that I've become some sort of health nut! Listening to the CD I bought last night of the concert, we caught up on the past year. Suprises on both sides, but what's life without a little bit of surprise right... one word, boring! We came back, cooked some dinner, played some pigs (thank you Pamela Shelly and Anne Blumenauer) and are now getting ready to go to bed because we are catching the bus to Namibia tomorrow.

So, we'll be back in South Africa on the 25th so for any christmas calls, you can reach us at +27 760 666 034. I'll update what our Namibian number is.

Tchau for now

Ian and Jess

Addendum

Just wanted to add a few more things to my lists of misses and not misses. Many people, mainly Virginia and Noel have been telling me things I will be missing.

SO:

Misses


Manica (I think their stock will take a hit when I leave)
Fresh Coconuts anytime
"Mandaring" children to go buy you things when it's too hot
tipo tinto (my biggest vice)
capulana clothing


Won't miss
lack of queues
5 people doing the job that one person does at home

Hal is alive

Facebook

Is it a book of faces that come back haunting you from your past? Yes I believe so. I've had weird Facebook experiences before, but yesterday takes the cake. You all know the people you may know aspect of Facebook, well, my host family from the first half year of Germany was all on there. How did Facebook know? There was no 6 degrees of separation connection. It just was freaky, because all 6 of them were on there. I decided, what they hell, and friended the oldest 3 who I was closer with anyone before ww3 broke out. To my big surprise, they all responded!

Guess people do grow up with age...

The America List

What I’m excited for in America

CHEESE!!!!

NPR

Being exotic

Appliances that work

Public transport that works on a schedule

Speaking American English Again

Getting things all in one place (I think Wal Mart would kill me right now)

CHEESE!!!

Choice

Obama

Clinton

Flush toilets

clean bathrooms

high speed

being able to have an egg and cheese sandwich without confusing people

having enough change

things will just work... i think

not being stared at

Passing through the border and feel proud to put down my passport

seeing my family

seeing my friends

going to theater

going to movies

dating

living life in the land of obama

seeing Mag

seeing friends

seeing family

Living in Philly

plotting my next escape

looking for a job

HIGH SPEED INTERNET

What will scare me

People that voted for Bush

That fact Bush and I are in the same country

the possibility that Palin may run in 2012

The cold

the size

the language

the accent

the cold

the snow

the amount of white people

the racism I will only really notice now

flush toilets

clean bathrooms

choice

supersize

mcdonalds (it's been nice not seeing a mcdonalds in YEARS!)

any other thoughts?

Last day of Work

Since it’s my last day of work in Africa (for some time at least) I thought I’d come up with a list of what I’m looking forward to in America, what I’m not, what I’ll miss in Mozambique and what I’m not going to miss. I hope my profuse sweating doesn’t short out the entire computer keyboard. It’s kinda gross how much I’m sweating at 8:30 in the morning! Here we go……..

What I’ll miss in Moz

Friendly people

Talking about absolutely nothing for hours

DOING absolutely nothing for hours

The slow pace of life

Being a celebrity

Calling my own hours at work

Inhambane Bay

A (ok) beach 15 minutes from my house

Forests of coconut trees

Beers for $1

One syllable responses

Gorgeous people

Wonderful smiles

My housekeeper and here endless cheerfulness even though she lives in a grass hut

My dogs

My next door neighbor Vaz

Being Tio to at least 50 kids

Sylvia’s restaurant

Sylvia’s chicken

Sylvia’s hugs

SYLVIA

My little Maxixe crew (who’ve all gone and abandoned me!)

The tree bar with a 360 degree people watching perch

Being able to act crazy and no one really care because I’m white

Letting my dog chase children knowing that she’ll never catch them (I mean people her tail is wagging!)

Rain on a tin roof as long as it doesn’t come inside

The tropical downpours

The heat

The fact that “cold” for me over the past 3 years has been 60 degrees.

Beautiful Sunsets

Beautiful Sunrises

Beautiful Beaches

My friends

Maputo (crazy mix of Latina and African Cultures)

Peace Corps Crew

Big Mama at the Market

Speaking multiple languages a day

Laughing over the smallest things

My lizard pest control system

Walking around and knowing EVERYONE

Speaking comfortably in English while no one else understands

EWWWWWEEEEE, Epa!, aaahhheehhh and the myriad of other grunting noises that just conveys so much meaning

Tofo Beach

Inhambane City

What I won’t miss

The heat (brain frying comes to mind)

The staring- I’m really NOT that special

Everyone thinking I’m made of money when they make more money than me

CHAPAS!!!! Clown Car public transport

The staring

Chapas

Never knowing how long traveling could take.

People thinking I don’t speak Portuguese

People who pretend like they’re listening to me and aren’t really

The heat

The mosquitoes (3 years on lariam is ENOUGH!)

Not knowing if you can get what you want when you want it. The west is spoiled!

The staring

Mulungo status

The heat

Stupid conductors on buses that think you would still take this form of public transport if you had a choice!

The fact that a distance of 20 k could take 30 minutes or 3 hours

The little rubbing together of the fingers to signify money

Dancing about the subject instead of heading straight for it

Stupid small talk

Yeah, my miss list is smaller than my won't miss list!

I'm so dizzy

My head is spinning. I've got 2 days left at work, 5 days left in my town where I've spent the past 3 years of my life. I've got 10 days left in a country that has taught me so much more than I could have imagined when I signed to dotted line all those years ago. I've got 27 days left on a continent I don't know how I'll get back to and as the saying goes "never leaves you." I thought when I left for Germany in 1999, I'd find myself, I thought when I left Friend's World I'd find myself, I thought signing up for Peace Corps, I'd find myself (that worked a little better as many of you know!) and now as I'm leaving I wonder if I'll find myself. But as one of my dear friends said here, one thing ends another thing begins... at least I'll never be boring at dinner parties. :)

P.S. I'm so thankful for all my friends of the years who have kept in contact with me and hopefully will for many years to come.

Happy Thanksgiving

As I'm wiping the sweat off of my brow and really getting aggravated at the 7 people that are in my tiny office, I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. I'm now 47 days from coming back to the Land of Obama, 2 years since my harrowing thyroid escapades, and winding up year three of life in Africa. The next 47 days will bring some crazy times I've no doubt. The last three years in Mozambique have proved to me that the only thing you don't get over in life is death. I thought things were really serious with the thyroid, now all I can't do because of it is go to a place like the Pitcairn Islands. Who would want to go there though?

That's the next thing, I've nothing to do at work except explain to people that the folders of pornography they've downloaded could be the reason that the computers aren't working anymore. So I've developed this fascination with really far flung places and mighty small places in this world. My two latest ones are Pitcairn Islands and Bhutan. I just read a wonderful book about Bhutan called BEYOND THE EARTH AND THE SKY and yup, you guessed it, I want to go there. I'm looking for this book called SERPENT IN PARADISE and I don't have to wait for reading that book, I already want to go there. I'm not too sure they'd let me in to either place though because of the synthroid medicine.

Anyone want to join me on some crazy treks?

Happy Thanksgiving

So long, Farewell, Auf wiedersehen, goodbye

It's hot and sticky, people are asking me to basically sell them the shirt off my back and I'm ready to go. Mozambique, you've been good to me but I'm ready to continue on, by way of South Africa, Namibia, Germany and The United Kingdom. I'm going to be seeing wonderful friends and my sister along the way. Most of which I haven't seen in varying year degrees of time. Hopefully they are as excited to see me as I am them. I hope I can remember how to communicate with people in the first world though.

As I said what was probably the hardest see you soon, (for right now anyway) I realized that I have to keep PCVs in my life, or people with a good sense of British-esque humor, otherwise I'm going to have no friends! But, I've been in a funk most of the day because I'm leaving. I've got to say goodbye to people who have been wonderful to me, not knowing when I'll be back around this part of the world. Mozambique is not exactly on the "well-traveled" route. However, I also realized this past weekend that I've made some friends for life. I love when you run into those people. I tend to find 2 or 3 of them in every place I live. I just hope I continue having people in my life who inspire me like all those crazy people who came to my going away party.

I just never thought I would be THIS sad to say goodbye to Mozambique. I've had fun, hard times, and normal times. I guess I've gotten so used to being the American Abroad that now, being faced with my first real long stint of living in America I'm scared, nervous, excited, you name it. Any suggestions how to get out of this funk and realize I have an excellent trip in front of me, will be seeing great people and going to the land of Obama?

Culture of Cheating

I do not understand Machismo, and I am a man! I was first really introduced to it in Costa Rica but three years here in Mozambique has blown open the cover that it is a really shitty way to treat one entire half of the population. I just got a phone call from a friend of mine. She was dating this guy from her town for almost a year and a half. It turned out that he’d been cheating on her the entire time, with a 16 year old student no less! We were amply warned during our training about fidelity issues within the Mozambican culture, however we always want to give the benefit of the doubt. This guy seemed like a really good guy and he didn’t look that bad either. That’s for a whole different blog, the beautiful people of Mozambique. Going back on topic…

One gets lonely here. Most people end up dating a Mozambican. But within that culture if a man only has ONE woman, he’s viewed as less of a man. Of course, everyone “officially” says that polygamy is over, the state outlaws it but you’d have to be complete blind not to see it. My friend’s guy told her flat out that he had sent the previous girl away, that she was the only one – that lasted for about two weeks. Now the news is that he got this other girl pregnant! She’s 18 now but she’s still my friend’s student. So it seems that there was never anything more than “oh look I’m dating the white girl” from this guy’s part. That hurts. I’ve had a girl totally stalk me, she has been stalking me for most of the 3 years but I just play along. I think it’s more out of affection now because I came out to her, she laughed and said you white people are weird, but if you don’t like girls okay! I was shocked but I was desperate to get her off my back. Finding out you are only being pursued for the color of your skin makes you feel so used and worthless. Every conversation with strangers tends to work out how much they want some “whitey” as there friend. White skin is better in the minds of some desperately poor Mozambicans and since they can’t change the color of their own skin, they do everything they can to have some of the “accessories.” It sucks. Besides, I don’t really think the African sun treats white skin to kindly. I’m always breaking out in rashes and weird skin issues when the majority of Mozambican friends have skin that would make a supermodel jealous.

What I want to know, why are people scared?

Obamamania in Mozambique

It’s been a hard pressed issue for me to say that I’m truly happy to be American. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always liked the IDEA of America and greatly appreciated the benefits that come with its passport, but I’ve never liked our approach to the rest of the world that “we know best so listen to us.” Cause it’s becoming more and more apparent that we do NOT know best. I’m getting totally off topic though.

Witnessing this past election from abroad was a mixed blessing. On the positive side, I didn’t have to suffer the 2 year long campaign cycle. I hear there’s already talk about Palin starting up a campaign for 2012!?!?!?!?! Please NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On the negative side of me being over here, I didn’t get to vote. I tried. I really tried. My ballot came on the day of the election to add some insult to injury. But on top of that, I didn’t get to take part in any sort of rallies et al. I would have loved to work for the greater good and hopefully will get a chance at some point in my life. The biggest positive in the campaign for me though is seeing that the world is ready to forgive us. I’ve always found it very amazing how the world supposedly “hates” America yet anywhere I’ve been there is always some part of Americana to be found. Even here in Mozambique, they may not have a McDonald’s, but they’ve got 4 KFC’s and they venerate Snoop Doggy Dogg like he is some kind of deity. The news the Tupac is dead hasn’t really hit hear yet. J Meeting new people has been so much fun recently. Without even mentioning politics, this new person inevitably will say PARA BENS when he or she learns I am American. Mozambique is in the middle of Provincial elections right now and the governing Party FRELIMO (who is the richer of the two parties) is out in force. It’s still the political atmosphere where anybody who wants to get anywhere in Mozambique joins FRELIMO…I guess old habits die hard. Anyway, when party caravans are going on the street, someone will usually recognize me who is in them and their will be some shouts of VIVA OBAMA interspersed with the other shouts. I just smile and walk on and say I’m for peace because I’m in the PEACE CORPS.

However, even the most racist South Africans I’ve seen here are genuinely happy about the Obama win. These are the kind of people that bitch about Apartheid being gone from their “Vaderland.” Yet they think Obama is the right direction that America has to go in. “Because he’s coloured. It’s a good first step.” I’m not joking, these are some comments I’ve heard around here!

I think I’ve strayed from the topic I wanted to write, but I’ve got a pretty preoccupied mind. I only have 21 days left in Maxixe – an area I’ve called home for 3 years. Then it’s off to Maputo for 5 days to exit out of the Peace Corps with which I’m officially done on the 11^th of December! Here’s the plan to get my African self home.

December 11^th I go to Joburg to pick up Jessica. We’ll travel around Joburg until the 14^th of December when we go to Windhoek in Namibia. We’ll travel around the Windhoek area until the 19^th when we go to Soususvlei (the tallest Sand Dune in the world) for 3 days. After which we’ve got 3 more days in Namibia, travel back to South Africa and then she’ll fly back to NYC on the 27^th of December. I’m going to be staying one extra night. Gotta say goodbye to Mama Africa on my terms. J Then I fly to Berlin. Going to visit family and friends in the Berlin area until the 9^th of January when I fly to London. I’ll be in London for 4 days just to say hi to important people. Then the grand entrance back to the land of Obama will be mid afternoon at Newark airport on January 14^th.

Anyone want to pick me up????

It's time

What a difference a day makes…

President-elect Barack Hussein Obama... That has a nice ring to it don’t you think? He’s also got a damn good looking family that we’ll be forced to look at for the next 4 years. The fact that his speeches get millions of people fired up, energized and in tears (as we saw Jesse Jackson and Oprah Winfrey do in Chicago) and he helped prove that the generational apathy for politics is no longer true! We've got real change coming. Florida even voted blue.

The feeling overseas has been amazing folks. I stayed up all night with some other American friends in Mozambique. We bought some food, made tacos and drinks and celebrated all night. Even before we new the result. It was a little weird that Mozambique is in the middle of their first ever local elections so we had a bit of a local election ferver ourselves. However, the most beautiful moment came when the campaign was called. There were 7 of us at the party and we all had our cell phones out. All of these started ringing and sending through text messages. I got 20 messages in the first 15 minutes only 8 of which were from overseas. The most wonderful was from a good friend of mine in Homoine. Here is his text verbatim in English (he's an English Teacher)

"Congratulations my friend. That's a sea of change for USA and 4 u guys. I am watching it and we are all American today. I am feeling as an American and wish you my friend to Enjoy CELEBRATE IT!"

Wow, okay there is a little work to be done but he speaks English. When I got in to work today (They gave me yesterday off to celebrate) everyone gave me a massive hug and one woman had tears in her eyes. I'm getting choked up about it again. There were shouts of VIVA OBAMA! when I walked into the office today. My inbox was full of congrats emails from the UK to Guatemala, to Australia all extolling the situation we have created in America. I've heard on numerous occasions throughtout my 3 years in Mozambique that a black man could never be president of America. It is a wonderful feeling to realize that ONE CAN!!!! But we need to stop realizing that the color of the skin has any importance. Obama has cool policies. I'll talk about that another time. I am overjoyed but also a bit saddened about what went on in America. California, Arizona, Arkansas and Florida should be ashamed of themselves.

I've found this quote from Thomas Jefferson. A founder of our country. Someone who's views of democracy I still admire greatly.

"A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the people may take away the rights of the other forty-nine. All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression." - Thomas Jefferson

WOULD BE OPPRESSION. That is what these laws are. If States want to outlaw gay marriage then they must outlaw interracial marriage, they must outlaw inter religious marriage they must treat eveyone fairly. Imagine a law saying that it was illegal for little Felix to be born? Let me put in another quote from Madiba (Nelson Mandela)

In its proper meaning equality before the law means the right to participate in the making of the laws by which one is governed, a constitution which guarantees democratic rights to all sections of the population, the right to approach the court for protection or relief in the case of the violation of rights guaranteed in the constitution, and the right to take part in the administration of justice as judges, magistrates, attorneys-general, law advisers and similar positions.
In the absence of these safeguards the phrase 'equality before the law', in so far as it is intended to apply to us, is meaningless and misleading. All the rights and privileges to which I have referred are monopolised by whites, and we enjoy none of them. The white man makes all the laws, he drags us before his courts and accuses us, and he sits in judgement over us. - Nelson Mandela 1962

This is equality before the LAW. Marriage has nothing to do with wanting to see one's partner in the hospital after a car accident. Marriage has nothing to do with what most of us want. Is it wrong to want the simple legal rights of almost every one of your friends? Imagine the feeling if your husband or wife were dying in the hospital and you couldn't say good bye. Who has the right to deny this personal moment between two men or two women. Religion is something between God and the person. It is the MOST PERSONAL of experiences someone can have. My religion taught me that I should love my neighbor, emulate Christ and help others. How can a ban on marriage be an emulation of Christ? After all, didn't God make every single one of us?

I personally have finally come to terms with myself as a gay man. It took a long time and took me moving to the other side of the world to see a soceity where it is even less accepted than in my own country. I firmly believe that God still loves me because I've done nothing wrong. I believe in some way he made me and if I were to deny my sexuality I would be defying his word. To all of you who read this I apologize for the public forum but I'm tired of making excusses because this is who I am. I haven't changed, my concious self has just clicked into gear. Now, what I want to ask, most of you that read this have known me my entire life, know that my parents didn't "raise me gay", know that I've been a faithful church-goer for the majority of my life and have told me that you love me like a son/brother etc., would you deny me the right to have a family, have a partner and be able to live my life the way I want to. You know I would never harm another, you know I would only wish the best for another. So please, search your heart and see if little Eenie Man really merits denial of basic human rights...

3 years working for the betterment of my country and this is some of the repayment. We CANNOT let this go Federal!

Thank you very much for reading this and please if you disagree in anyway, I will readily listen to anything you have to say.

FOR ALL

This is the text of a letter from Nelson Mandela (the best politician EVER ANYWHERE!) to Barack Obama (keeping my fingers crossed.)

Dear Senator Obama,

We join people in your country and around the world in congratulating you on becoming the President-Elect of the United States. Your victory has demonstrated that no person anywhere in the world should not dare to dream of wanting to change the world for a better place.

We note and applaud your commitment to supporting the cause of peace and security around the world. We trust that you will also make it the mission of your Presidency to combat the scourge of poverty and disease everywhere.

We wish you strength and fortitude in the challenging days and years that lie ahead. We are sure you will ultimately achieve your dream making the United States of America a full partner in a community of nations committed to peace and prosperity for all.

Sincerely,

N R Mandela


Reading this, I thought back to when the Apartheid regime let Mandela out of jail in 1990. Now they started working on the constitution of the Rainbow Nation of South Africa. Mandela said equality must be there for ALL. Blacks, whites, coloureds, indians, gays, straights, Zulu, Swazi... you get the idea ALL.

We in America have something that our children say everday for the first 12 years of their educational lives. It goes something like this.

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, under God, indivisible, for liberty and justice for all."

Most people fight for the under God or the indivisible to be struck away. I'm just never going to say it again until I can say it and not feel like a liar. If there is one thing my church has taught me it is to not lie and to love thy neighbor.

All those people out there who appose gay rights, do you appose my rights?

Little Side Note

Lot's of stuff has been happening but I just want to say EVEN MY DOG got caught up in Obamania and gave birth to a litter of 7 on election night. I think one should be called Obama no?

Public Service Announcement

Dear Red States...

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren't aware, that includes California,
Hawaii, Oregon,Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the
Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the
slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get
Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom...or what's left of it.

We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and
entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the
red states finally pay their fair share.

Since the Blue State aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent
lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy
families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that we will be pro-choice and anti- war,
and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals.
They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths
for no real purpose, and they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success
in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to
spend our resources on Bush's Quagmire any longer.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of
80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90
percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh
fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve beer
at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the
high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living
redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven
Sister schools, plus Berkeley, Stanford, Cal Tech, Chicago,
Madison, Michigan, and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to
cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected
health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100
percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of
all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all
televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the
University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. Additionally, 38
percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually
swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're
discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that
evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11
and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people with
higher morals then we lefties.

Peace out,

Blue States

LIFE IS A JOURNEY.
ROLL DOWN THE WINDOW AND ENJOY THE BREEZE

This is something I got emailed! I LOVE the emails turning to "we lefties" 's favor now. But the thing I loved the best was the cheesy quote at the end. It couldn't be more true. Enjoy the breeze and no one has any right to take the breeze away from ANYBODY ELSE!

Election Update

Some people will be blogging minute by minute. unfortunately I can't do that. So check back here tomorrow for happiness or sadness. I will be staying up all night tonight and hoping for the best.

GOBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please???

VIVA AMERICA.... I hope

It’s not just Election Day in America, there are some political happenings here too, things that wouldn’t have looked out of place on the streets of East Berlin in the 1980’s. Mozambique has been under the control of FRELIMO since the day of independence, first because all other options were outlawed and then finally now because they own so much of the country, no one would be stupid enough to vote them out of power. But I’m not going to preach my views on them. I’ll do that when I’m NOT in the country anymore. I just want to give “ya’ll” a taste of what it is looking like around here.

I went for a quick errand run right before I’m sending this – just a walk to the central market to by some credit for my phone. I took a wide arc around the main square of town, trying to avoid the fist pumping VIVA FRELIMO! cries and went to get my weekly $4 of credit. The town is COVERED in red pamphlets, flyers, posters, bunting, you name it of FRELIMO and I saw 2 opposition posters, one of which was partially torn off the lamp post. You see, Mozambique has never really had anything but a presidential election before and they’ve only had 3 of those. 33 years of independence, one election about every 11 years! We’re on the right track! This year, people are voting for the mayors of towns, the provincial governors, the provincial assemblies right on down to comptroller. I’m joking about that last part, I don’t even really now what a comptroller does. But everyone is very excited about it – or very excited to get the free ruby red FRELIMO PARTIDO DO PAZ tees, I really can’t tell. The eerie thing is that people are in the back of pickups, going around town yelling different slogans and waving banners and flags around… something I want to avoid.

However, talk to me tomorrow, because if O wins tonight, I may just shout AMERICA OYE!!!!

Found this

My sister sent me this link about the link between John McCain and RENAMO. I just can’t believe the pure gall of this man who wants to accuse Obama of supporting terrorists? I’m sparing you all the decription of the massacre and pictures I’ve seen. People in the town said the 436 is the number of bodies found those that were there say it was closer to 1000. It all happened in the course of 10 hours. So 100 people died an hour…

How can we break this into the main stream news and show people that voting for McCain is just a BAD idea?

I have this colleague

His name is Joe, well not really but you get the picture. Anyway, his official job title is “PROGRAM COORDINATOR.” That should include the implementation, managing and oversight of all the HIV and personal health programs this NGO runs. But in all honesty, it constitutes CONSTANTLY sending text messages, playing marathon spider solitaire and looking up pornography on the internet. So the big boss started cracking down and is sending him to a provincial wide health workers meeting in the capital city of Inhambane. He has to write a report now for the meeting. Yesterday he sat down on my desk and said, Ian, can you do this for me? I said I could help him and wouldn’t do it alone. Now today he is not talking to me. Oh well…. Am I wrong?

Sorry about yesterday.

I’m sorry I ranted and raved yesterday. I’m going to be pretty glad when this election is over. It seems to just get me so fired up that all I do is complain about something or someone. I feel sorry for all of my family and friends who are in the States right now. I can’t imagine what it must be like to see this campaign smearing everywhere you go.

This whole thing with McCain and RENAMO really got me angry though. July 18^th 1987 was the worst massacre that happened in the Mozambican civil war. I’ve been to 2 memorial service for it and people are still talking about it as if it were yesterday. RENAMO was able to kill “officially” kill 436 people. Truthfully the number is closer to 1,000. Here are some pictures from the 20^th anniversary of the attacks.

The 350 people buried there are the bodies that were deemed "whole enough" to merrit burial under traditional beliefs and could be identified. They mention the hospital in the articles where RENAMO started killing bed ridden patients and pregnant mothers. I’ve gotten treated for malaria at the hospital. There is a little shrine in the hospital with NEVER AGAIN written over it. Hopefully it will never happen again. McCain stood up in congress and said that RENAMO was a wonderful organization that was fighting “godless communists” FRELIMO. I’m not condoning FRELIMO by any means. But they were most definitely the lesser of two evils. I mean Regan, the biggest ANTI-communist of them all even had Samora Machel at the White House. Let’s not even talk about the Bush connections to the Saudis.

Please, let’s show the world that America can change and we won’t be the school yard bully. This is the first time I have seen first hand and felt personally the effects of some blunder of the idiots in congress who think patriotism is about killing anyone who gets in the way of the American way. My best friend in Homoine lost his father in that massacre and even though I was 5 at the time (so was he) I feel ashamed that a possible future president of my country had supported the people that killed his father…

PS

I've been reading and rereading the article about RENAMO's connection to John McCain and realized that my town features in the article.

They "killed bedridden hospital patients and chanted political slogans while killing children" in July of 1987 in what was later found to be a typical attack on a village; an American aid worker witnessed these attacks and they were thus widely reported.

I went to the 20th anniversary of this massacre. I met the American aid worker and had some beers with her. It occured in Homoine and my friends who live there are still feeling the after effects. This man is demented, should retire and let us rebuild America before he destroys it more.

I've been to this hospital and have seen people with the scars from this attack from a group he wanted to talk too. I'm getting so aggravated right now so all I c an say is John McCain

SHUT UP!

Selective Senses

There's this woman in my life that tends to teach me more than she ever thinks imaginable. One thing I always remember though that used to drive me crazy was her selective senses. She used to say that she had selective hearing if I asked for something that I couldn't have as a child. I've noticed that John McCain may be suffering from selective memory and I idolize the HuffingtonPost for pointing that out to us all. That website is so gloriously left wing I love it. Anyway, it's pretty general knowledge that America went around the world and funded the anti-communist movements in various countries. I've personally met some of the former "communists" and former "rebels" here in Mozambique and during University when I traveled to Nicaragua. Personally I couldn't be happier that Daniel Ortega is currently the president of Nicaragua. But I'm diverting what I wanted to write here. Read this article in the Huffpost about RENAMO and our dear friend John McCain. He really should think about his selective memory if he wants to accuse Obama of being a terrorist when he was 8. After all, he was in his 50's when most likely financially supported a group that raped, pillaged, and killed for 16 LONG years - the effects of which are still felt here today in Maxixe. So I beg all the Americans reading this... let's practice OUR selective memory and forget that the Republican Party even exists right now. They've screwed us over so hard let's send them into the shadows next week!

You best be believing that I will be up watching the debates. I've done it before and I'm going to buy the bottle of champagne that's offered here in Moz to make sure I can either celebrate a historic change or drown my fears in cheap alcohol. I truely hope it's the former.

Sorry

Hello all,

Sorry for the absence. Life has been rather busy and yet again my work didn't pay their internet bill. I'm currently in Maputo just having taken the GRE for school. I spent my birthday out at the beach and was able to send in my application to Monterey Institute in California. Please keep your fingers crossed that I one get in and two get a high enough score on the GRE for the school to let me in even though the GRE is not "required" there it is only "reccomended." I just wanted to say I'm alive and will blog more in 10 tens after OBAMAMANIA climaxes.

keep your fingers crossed for that too.

Professional Jealousy

Mag always told me about it, but I've only begun to understand it now. I've got a pretty dull job here at the office. I basically press buttons all day because all of the office equipment is in English and people are too scared to learn English. 400 years of colonialists saying "YOU'RE STUPID, YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!" can have that effect on you though. :( Anyway, I took it upon myself and taught people the internet and computer. They now queue up to check their email, which they've given to no one, feign upset when nothing is in the box, take pictures with an ancient digital camera in front of the same wall and send them to each other - which takes an hour with this internet connection.

Come on people, I've got important things to do on the internet... like write this blog for example!!!!

:O)

Some Thoughts

My brother and I have been talking in spits and spats about the economic crisis in America. This was one of his responses, and I thought it was amazingly to the point.

It is true that fear paralyzes. And having fear means you don't get anything done. Make the population scared and you keep them in check and they give you blank checks. It is a shame that the bailout passed. Privatize profit, socialize loss. Bad recipe. They are already saying that the 700billion is like a "pebble in the ocean"

and it hasn't even been aw eek! the guy they put in charge of the bailout plan is 35 years old and a former investment banker. Lots of confidence there! What is it going to be like when we have a depression and still have circuit city, walmart, target and all that? The master slave relationship of hyper-capitalism will be even more apparent.

To those who pay attention of course.

Any thoughts?

Money Money Money

Quoting ABBA when thinking about the future third world banana republicness of my country is not normal, but then again nothing is normal right now it seems.

Must be funny in a rich man's world. It must be funny because they see 9/10's of the world slaving away for almost nothing. I thought this economic bailout plan would be good, but wait hold on a second. They are losing too much money to really trust themselves to make loans to each other. However, these wall street people have earned 700 billion extra dollars since Bush came into power. Spend that to bail yourselves out!!

I know Michael Moore whine alot, but he makes good points. I wouldn't want too see this country run by the rich at the expense of the poor. I don't care if I sound communist. The country is run by the government any way.



Oh yeah, here's the link

Here it goes!!!!!!

Africa so graciously reminded me today that I'm not in the clear. I've got one more southern summer to suffer through. (or at least half way through before I travel up north and freeze in Europe.) On my way to work today, I broke a sweat. Now I'm not saying a nice little cooling persperation, I looked like I got a bucket of water dumped on me. Not a nice way to show up to work!!! When I went out to get my lunch, round two of the super soaker look came about. I was waiting for my egg sandwich to be cooked (10 meticais little piece of greasy heaven) and watching the new channel we just got in Maxixe called Miramar. There was a Brazilian Oprah Winferey show on - could tell me the accent. I just wanted to know how old it was because the models in the show were modeling scarves and 'winter wear!' I love weird randomness in life, but this was just too much to deal with. I think everyone in the deli thought I was insane.

I am!


P.S. Not looking forward to the walk home. Round three....

What makes it all worth it…?

Many times over the past 3 years I’ve wondered what I’m exactly doing here – especially when I’m pulling my hair out over the problem of the day. It’s gotten so “bad” my hair just falls out on its own now…I think that’s the lariam though. Anyway, I re-found this piece of paper that a competitor from my theatre project wrote for me. He wrote this saying this is what theatre means to him. I’ll write it first in Portuguese and then translate it.

O Teatro e um lugar de exaltação, misterio e liberdade. Um lugar onde a gente pode sentir o que não compreendemos: amor, sofrer, rir e chorar. É para fingir avontade, mascarar-se, declamar, correr atras dos outros e perder invariavelmente no confusão das lonas e armações.

Theatre is a place of exaltation, mistery and freedom. A place where people can feel what we don’t understand: love, suffering, laughing and crying. We can pretend to our heart’s desire, mask our real selves, suspend our disbelief and entertain. It is a place to lose ourselves in the canvases and warehouses of creativity.

It makes a lot more sense in Portuguese, but I just thought…. Yeah! I Influenced somebody…

Nationalization?

8 years. To an eight year old that is a long time. To the rest of us who have lived from 2000 to 2008 it's been a hell of a long time too. Hopefully we are learning. I just wanted to say something very quickly about the bailouts going on at home now. Viewed at from over here, it sure looks like nationalization. The United States has a GDP on roughly 13 trillion dollars. We're number #1! Our government has recently bought out 850 billion dollars of that. All of this can be found out on Google. I'm not making up the numbers. So one of the bigger stockholders in our economy is Uncle Sam. So maybe the 25th of September should become a holiday in America. The Day of Nationalizations. It's a holiday here. June 24th. It's a damn good holiday too.

Please don't think I'm saying America is doing things wrong. Trust me, after living here in Mozambique for 3 years I've come to love America. She does a lot of things right! I'm just hoping and praying and begging that we get our collective heads out of our asses and off our high horses thinking that the US way is the best way and only way. We get alot of things right, but we get ALOT of things wrong too. I'm just laughing, because it's seems to my eyes that America is having to save herself by dying her wool with the slightest hint of the newest red socialist. Lady Liberty is putting on the Little Red Riding Hood cape as she goes off to the free market. What's really wrong with that? This ain't Regeanism of the 1980's. Time's change and the only thing we're number one at anymore is (military) spending.

Don't we need something we can be proud of?

51st State

Okay, there are many jokes about Canada, Afghanistan, Iraq, Israel etc... being the 51st state of America. But I just found an article that says otherwise. I've been doing some research and the voting population of America is roughly 215 million people. However, that the amount of Americans who are over 18. 75 % are actually registered to vote. That's 161 million people. But people who actually vote (because in our wonderfully enigmatic governing practices, voting is on a TUESDAY!) is about 57% of that number. So the grand total of 92 million people actually decide who "the leader of free world" Scary thought huh? But maybe an extra 4 million can make a difference.

200!!!!!!!!

SO in the spirit of my 200th post I thought I'd go WAY deep.

Enjoy!

So I was watching this movie I really love last night called SAVED! It is such a light and fluffy but hilarious movie. I was surprised how much I liked some of the writing. I pulled out some of the quotes. Having just finished this book called INFIDEL by a former Dutch MP, I’ve started thinking about religion a lot recently. What does religion mean to me? Can I really call myself Catholic since I’m by my very nature against much of what the Vatican decrees? Is religion about submission to a higher power or a conversation with it? I’m going to list the quotes now and give a slight explanation of them all. Enjoy, I know I am.

This (the bible) is not a weapon… YOU IDIOT!!!!

This is after the main character gets a bible thrown at her in an effort to “save her soul.” The Bible/Quran/Torah as a weapon… discuss….

You’re not born a gay, you’re born again.

I beg to differ…

Burn in hell you narrow minded tacky ass bitch!!!!

The only “Jewish” at an evangelical Christian school (who is actually the most “Christian” of them all) is yelling at this Bible thumping cheer leader who repeatedly tried to force JC upon her. Why is it that some of the most outwardly religious people are some of the narrowest minded?

You have everything…. What are you afraid of?!?!

A brother talking to his sister in the movie. I thought this could pertain to Americans right now too. After living will all this fear, I think it’s time to realize that as a country, we do have everything… so what is it that we are actually afraid of?

I know in my heart that Jesus still loves me!

The gay ex boyfriend of the main character who happened to get her pregnant in a effort to “cure his gayness.” This just says it all to me. Religion is about the feelings you have in your heart and not what you are told from outside influences. It’s all fine and good to do things in a group (we all love company) but without it coming from the heart, it’s empty.

No one fits in 100% of the time!

‘nuf said, could it be more obvious?

Why did God make us so different if he wanted us to be the same?

Really good question no? I mean how boring would it be if we were all black, white, yellow, or green. If we were all the same religion how would we get to experience wonderful feasts like EID or Seders? So I’m thinking we should get off each others backs and just let other people ‘do their thing.’ We can still think they are weird and strange though because what else would we have to talk about?

I think the Peace Corps needs to caution on some of their literature. We think we sign up for this to change the world and help others. I’m beginning to realize that it’s the world (Mozambique) that has changed and helped me.

I feel sorry for the Baracudas

I asked a friend of mine in Germany about the Germans view of the elections in America. I'm sure I don't have to get into it here. You probably all know what they think. The PS of her email to me is what got me though.

PS: Was Sarah Palin betrifft: ich finde jeder Satz über sie ist ein Satz zu viel. Mir tun nur die Barracudas leid, die mit ihr verglichen werden!

I'm giving the sentence here so ya'll can Google translate it too. This is what she said.

PS: In relation to Sarah Palin: I find that every sentence about her is one sentence too much. I'm just sorry for the Barracudas that are compared with her!


This coming from a country that has elected Angela Merkel! Who by the way comes from a Party that makes Republicans look like the "liberal pansies" they are so scared of. Yet somehow she can't stand the touch or sight of George Bush, as seen below at a G8 summit in Russia.
What a face!




I'd be scared too! He's probably not that good of a masseur.


This same friend was at the rockstar event in Berlin. 250,000 people right in the center of the city. Could just anyone get that? Also, he was able to speak at Brandenburg Gate. Wow...










Poor woman looks happier here.

A View From Hell

A view from Hell.

Don’t yell at me, call me names or say I’m racist please. After all, I’ve lived here for 3 years. But I live in my personal view of hell. For those of you that have seen my pictures, you may be confused or think I’m whining – but I’m not. This past weekend I went to a town about 80 km south of Maxixe (50 miles.) I had a wonderful ride down, I even got the front seat. But when I was sitting there in the front of the car watching BEAUTIFUL Inhambane Province roll by, I realized Africa is only going to change if Africans change it. The entire first world could come here and do 2 or 3 years of work but that’s only a surface band-aid. I realized it is hell for me because people don’t question. People accept the status-quo and have resigned themselves to it “because we are poor and we can’t change a thing.” This idea, never to question always to accept just gets my blood boiling!!!!! There’s about a billion people on this continent, while the “West” only has about 700 million people in it. Look what we were able to accomplish! Took a long time, but now 99 percent of the west has running water, electricity, etc. Imagine what Africa could accomplish if people stopped accepting the status quo. I noticed this status quo so much this past 24 hours. Here are some examples.

When I was coming back from Inharrime, I went to the chapa stop. I was excited about getting the front seat again. Then I noticed the chapa was empty. These chapas won’t get going before they have at the VERY LEAST 15 people in them. It was going to be a long wait – an hour and a half long. It didn’t matter because I had this really good book to read. But reading it for an hour and a half straight sitting in the African sun isn’t that enjoyable. People FINALLY started coming. The ride should be about an hour long, but could be as long as 2… or so I thought. We started off finally and went straight to the gas station, even though the driver had left the car idling for about 40 minutes. (think of the saved gas!!!) We proceeded out of town and stopped about every other tree. A cute girl would run out to stop the car, low cut shirt, shapely skirt, you get the idea and the driver would stop. An old grandmother that probably needed to go to the hospital came out to stop the car. No luck, we passed her by. By the third every other tree, I got so pissed. I’ve seen bus queues in England longer than what the difference was between trees. Then the music started. That is the one down side of sitting in the front. You see, in the front, you control the windows, don’t usually have someone sitting next to you, have ample music and the broken sound system blaring right in front of you. The volume level usually needs to be loud enough for EVERYONE you pass by to hear it. I looked back into the main part of the car and everyone was clearly in discomfort, BUT NO ONE SAID ANYTHING. I finally acted like I was reaching into my bag and pulled the wires out of the radio. This is a trick I learned early on and have used on multiple occasions. J I personally am in principal TOTALLY against the act of waiting for a car to fill up a longer time than it takes to get to where I’m going. Does that make sense? Yet no one questions the logic. They’ll just say, what other way is there to do it?

This morning, when I came into the office, the straw broke my back. I’ve been opening email accounts for everyone here. The newest thing is to send chain Powerpoint presentations around. Most are pornographic. Today’s is mainly geared at women but two men are reading it right now. (30 and 45 respectively) It’s about signs of breast cancer. I thought it would be very informational and maybe helpful for them to use because breast cancer is on the rise here. Nope. It was obviously written for male pleasure only. There are white women posed very naked in the back of each slide. These two horn dogs are laughing about it still… it’s clearly achieved it’s goal…

Following a friend's advice

A friend of mine recently wrote a glowing review of apple's new iTunes 8. Something to do with geniuses or something. I decided to download the new software because I had not upgraded my iTunes in quite some time. Generally I tend to avoid downloaded of more than 10 MB. Broadband here is SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Well, iTunes 8 is 64.5 MB. It made me remember the days of my dad's dial up modem in America. I came in to work at 8, started the download and am now finishing.

You do the math.

Thanks Liz :O)